The Art of Getting What You Want

This morning I received an email from a friend who needed to vent about her current conundrum. She has too much work on her plate, not enough time or resources and isn’t getting paid half as much as she is worth.

This isn’t the first time I have heard this story, as a matter of fact, I’ve lived this story quite a few times myself. As a woman, I find it really hard to admit that I need help or ask to get paid what I am worth. But why?

In 2010 I was drowning. I was assisting with running a small production company, handling the personal and professional details of my boss’ life, producing development projects for major networks and regularly traveling around the country.  I was exhausted, overworked and at my wits end. But I didn’t ask for help. I didn’t want to seem incapable or lazy or like I didn’t appreciate my job. Did I stand up and say, “I would love to do this for you, but I am going to need this to get it done.”? No, I slaved and suffered and started dropping the ball.  It took my boss coming to me to say “You need to hire an assistant, you need help” for me to get what I needed.

It’s this personal familiarity with my friends circumstance that makes me laugh but also allows me the opportunity to offer her advice so maybe she can get ahead of the curve.  Since this is the third or fourth woman who has come to me seeking guidance on this subject I thought I would go ahead and share my thoughts broadly. Here is what you need to know:

1. Your worth is not tied to your job or your performance at the gym or the status of your relationship or your weight or beauty.  There actually is not such thing as “worth”.  You don’t need to measure, you don’t need to perform, you don’t need to convince.  You just need to show up, be you, do things you are proud of and then go to sleep and start it all over again the next day. If someone doesn’t think you are doing enough they will tell you or they will fire you.

2. If you don’t like the work you are doing and it doesn’t make you feel good, you should find different work.  I am not saying quit your job tomorrow but I am saying sit down, figure out what it is you like and make a plan to go do that.  If you have no idea what you like and you sit down to write about it and can’t think of anything then write “I don’t know” and try again the next day.  You don’t have to have all of the answers right now.

3. Sometimes the work we want to do requires us to do work we don’t want to do. As an artist I am fully aware that the artist life and career means little pay and a lot of sacrifice.  There is a difference between a “means to an end” job and a “career”. Sometimes you have to work to pay the bills and it is not so easy to just say “I don’t like this, I quit”.  Be kind to yourself during the “means to an end” job, it does not define you and it does not mean you aren’t working toward the greater goal. If struggling with this, see point #1: There is no such thing as “worth”. 

4. If you don’t like your work because you feel overwhelmed it doesn’t necessarily mean you need a new job.  If you are overworked you are absolutely entitled to look your boss in the eye and say “I need help”. Asking for help does not mean you are not capable, smart, hard working or a valuable employee.  Asking for help means you are capable of identifying a problem and then solving that problem.  Believe me, once you get the help or resources you need the possibilities are endless.  If down the road the changes don’t make you feel good, then you can decide whether it is time to move on.

5.  Your fears are not reality.  A lot of the time what we fear in our minds is not what is actually going on in real life.  The next time you are afraid to speak up I challenge you to take a minute to make two lists: the first list is a list of the things that are actually true and the second list is a list of the fears you have made up.  Look them over, examine them and then take the list of fears and throw it away.

Asking for what you need does not make you greedy, needy or entitled.  Asking for what you are worth is again, identifying a problem and solving it. If you are faced with the situation of having to ask for a raise or for help you might feel afraid and overwhelmed.  Make the two lists of reality and fear.  Throw the fear list away.  Now, approach the situation like a science problem:

• What does the data say?
• What tangible things have you accomplished since your last review or your last raise?
• What are you contributing to the company as a whole?
• What would you do with more resources?
• What is the overall value of your contribution?
• How does it benefit the company to give you the help or the raise?

Now take your data and present it to your boss. Communicate what you are contributing and what you believe that is worth (more money, an assistant, more money and an assistant). The worst thing they can say is no.

This process doesn’t just apply to your career.  You can use this for your personal goals and roadblocks. I actually recommend practicing these things regularly, it will only make you more prepared when it is time for those big conversations.

Your life is in your hands, the sooner you realize that the sooner you will get what you need.

For help with drafting emails to your boss or preparing for “that” conversation email me at tlsabatine@gmail.com.  Sometimes all we need is a little external reinforcement.

Why They Can’t Take Away our Freedom of Expression

I joined an amazing group of artists and creators brought together to write about our experiences as we navigate “non traditional” career paths.

My first post focuses on art and the freedom of expression and why it is so important that we never forget what happened that day at Charlie Hebdo.

Check it out here! The 30

Hollywood Job Opportunity

A Lionsgate company is looking for an Executive Assistant to the President and the Head of Acquisitions.  Major responsibilities include scheduling, rolling calls, booking travel and day to day office operations.  They need someone who is dedicated to their job, willing to work long hours and uses extreme discretion.  Script coverage and freedom to find projects exists as well as the potential for growth.  They are focused on distribution and acquisitions as well as producing 3-4 films a year.  Please only apply if you work well under pressure and extremely high expectations and have an interest in the business side of film. 2-3 years of production/entertainment experience preferred. Very small group with a close nit “family” like atmosphere. Please send resumes and brief/concise cover letters to distributionassistantapril@gmail.com.

 

Filth vs Entertainment

I went to a Hollywood mixer last night.  Okay really it was on the west side (thank the lord) and I really didn’t mix so much as meet like three people and then talk to my friend the whole night.  I mean come on…meeting new people is really intimidating and my friend is incredible company so what’s a girl to do?  But the etiquette of mixers is a topic for another day.

So of the three new people I met there was this one in particular whom I think at one point had intentions of being a writer or still has  intentions of doing so…but maybe…is going about it the wrong way? I’m not sure because this business is constantly surprising me and the weirdest content creates followings and then makes millions of dollars…so you can never be quite certain about anything.

However, naked “Asian cougars” as he called them, running around a prison posing as vampires and biting each other…to me…seems…like a stretch. But there I was listening to this guy talk about this move that he is trying to sell to get an associate producer credit and I wasn’t sure what to say. He had the elevator pitch down: “I mean it’s terrible…the production value is crap the acting is really crap, I mean it’s horrible acting, but I love it, I just think it’s great I mean naked cougars in a prison, hot naked cougars”

I think that if I was in the business of porn we would have walked over to the bar, taken shots of tequila and shook hands on a deal. Luckily I am not in the business of porn so we skipped the shots of tequila and went straight to the part where he asks if he can send me this other script he has that is similar to “Asian Cougars”.  Like I said earlier, Hollywood is full of constant surprises so I told him that the least I would do is read the script but that candidly…there was probably no way this is in our wheelhouse.

Then I got to thinking, here is this guy that says he wants to make movies.  He is standing in front of me talking about all the projects he is juggling and how he just wants to get something off of the ground and I can’t help but think, why in the hell are you focusing on naked “Asian Cougars”?  Why don’t you research the market and see what people are buying?  AND if this isn’t about making movies “that people are buying”  but it’s about “having a passion for filmmaking” why can’t you at least focus on a genre/topic that is actually entertainment instead of just plain filth?

Are people really looking for the next best “Naked Asian Cougar Vampire Film”? Is it really necessary to make such films?  I am not saying there isn’t a market for that and I am not saying that people don’t like naked Asian cougars but if this guy really wants to make movies why doesn’t he focus on something a little more, commercial? Or better yet, a story a little more worthy of being told?

So of course I can’t help but open my big mouth and say “Well maybe if this guy wants to sell a movie he should make it about something else, why do people make these terrible movies?”

And Asian Cougar guy comes back at me with “Well I mean, at least he is doing something.  He is making a movie, that’s a lot better than talking about it.”

Touché my friend. So there you have it.  Filth gets made because it is better to have made something than to have not.  I guess my point is, if you are going to spend investors’ money and use up production crews time and resources, shouldn’t you really truly believe in what you are doing? What is the sense of making something just to say you’ve made something? Shouldn’t we have a little more invested in our work?

But maybe “naked Asian cougar” filmmaker guy really is invested in this work.  Maybe he really believes in this story and thinks people should see his films.  Best of luck to him, I prefer to steer clear of this genre and I will be sure to avoid running into him at the next mixer.

 

You Were Not Kidding About That Silver Lining…

I waited.  I saw the trailer months ago and I waited.  I have been busy lately but it is no excuse for me failing to head to the theater and see these films, it’s my craft and let me tell you, neglecting your craft is like neglecting your soul.  So you can imagine that I was fiending for a fix…a great movie that reminds me of why I am in this business in the first place, even if I am learning that it’s really all just about the bottom line.

I sat through the first act and started to worry.  Why is this paced this way?  Why are the characters experiencing so much in such a short amount of time? I wanted to yell “Wait wait, I can’t keep up…who are these people?” I was overwhelmed by the dialogue and the amount of action taking place so quickly.

But the thing about Bipolar disorder is that there is no pace.  There is no rhyme or reason to this disease.  The symptoms are up and then down and then up and then down and then rage and then bliss.  So as I watched Bradley Cooper portraying this incredibly disturbing condition on screen, I was incredibly disturbed.  The pace of the first Act is necessary to the payoff you will receive when it is all said and done. Nicely done David O. Russell.

Then there was the camera work…why are we flying around, why are we doing so much handheld?  Can you just use a dolly?  But then you realize….this is how it feels, this is how it is to experience bipolar disorder.  It isn’t smooth, it isn’t polished and neat.  It is messy and aggressive and well, jarring.  Great choice.

And it wasn’t until the third Act that I really understood all the talk about Jennifer Lawrence.  Yeah I liked her, yeah I thought that scene in the diner was great and then her transition to being on the street talking to the police officer was intriguing. Good work.  BUT that scene in the living room with her and Robert De Niro?  God to be a fly on the wall when they were shooting.

I am not a big movie review girl, I like to share trailers with you so you can see what is out there.  I am not going to go on and on about the technical aspects of this film and why it should be a contender at The Oscars this year.

But I would be doing you a disservice if I didn’t at least tell you that this film is so worth your $12 and your 122 minutes.

It doesn’t have incredibly high stakes.  There aren’t crazy fight scenes and explosions and CGI.  But it’s real.  God is it real.

It’s our modern-day Romantic Comedy.  It’s When Harry Met Sally meets Good Will Hunting.  It’s loose and comedic and crass and inviting.

But the bigger thing…the thing that really matters most to me as an artist and a story-teller is that it inspires.  It inspires thought, it inspires reflection, it inspires discussion…and maybe it even inspires action.

This film isn’t for the lighthearted…if you’ve never been through anything, if you have never been challenged or lost or sad, if you’ve never actually dealt with anything real…then I will tell you that you might just not relate to these characters, you might find them offensive and whiny.

But if you’ve lived?  If you have seen heartache or death or ever felt like you weren’t sure if you were going to make it?  You might just want to go on this journey with these wonderfully flawed and exceptionally human characters.

“Pat: I’m ready! I’m motivated, I don’t feel so angry all the time.

Dr. Patel: Pat, you have to have a strategy.

Pat: I hate my illness and I want to control it. This is what I believe to be true: You have to do everything you can and if you stay positive you have a shot at a silver lining.”

Dear #Twilight Saga, I surrender: Trailer of The Day “The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn-Part 2”

In honor of the “Twilight Saga Breaking Dawn-Part 2″ World Premiere tonight here in LA I am blogging about its trailer.  I will be attending this premiere and although I wouldn’t have chosen Twilight as the first world premiere I ever attended…I am happy I am invited.

I haven’t followed this saga.  I know, apparently it’s a great shame and I am seriously missing out? I suppose I will find out what I have been missing when I arrive at LA Live tonight.  I am not going to give my opinion on Kristen Stewart as an actress because I am a rational person and such negativity doesn’t need to be spread all over the internet like wildfire. I do however like Robert Pattinson–especially his performance in Water for Elephants (Hey Cinematographer Rodrigo Prieto you are incredible).

I happily support Lionsgate and Summit Entertainment and hope you all prove your obsession and head to the theaters to see this.

Director:Bill Condon
Writer:Melissa Rosenberg
Cast: Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson, Taylor launtner

Holy Drama.

 

How I Landed My Dream Job

It was two years ago this November that I sat in Santa Monica eating lunch with my old boss at a placed called Tiato Market Garden Cafe. We had just finished a general meeting with the executives from MTV and we had short break until our next meeting. (General meetings are when you don’t necessarily have something to sell but you are just reminding them who you are and getting an update on what the network is looking for).  

I remember thinking “This is where I need to be.  This city, this cafe and around these people.  If I want to make it, this is where it is going to happen.”

I have made a lot of choices between then and today.  I moved out of New York City and to Chicago where I freelanced on some scripted television shows.  I beat myself up wondering why I had made that decision and if it was going to affect my future.  The entire time something deep inside of me was saying “You need to get to California, you should be in Los Angeles”.

Listen, I grew up watching movies and television believing magical crazy things can happen in 90 minutes or less and in that line of thought moving to LA  on a whim seemed plausible.  But, no matter how badly I wanted to escape my situation, deep inside I knew that packing up my bags impulsively without money or planning was going to set me up for failure.

I have a mentor that has always advised me to set goals.  He says not to just set the big goals but little ones along the way that can help you gain perspective.  In January of 2012 I sat in my Chicago apartment trying to manage my personal disappointment.  I decided to make a small goal: “Move to Los Angeles in August.” Then I broke down the months and made even smaller goals “Save x amount of money by February” or “Reach out to 5 contacts in the LA area and discuss possible opportunities by the end of this week”.  These goals were measurable.  Did I reach out to five contacts this week? Yes. Great. I accomplished something.  Am I running a studio and producing ten movies a year? No? Okay, keep setting goals that are measurable and you will eventually get there.

I was no longer upset with my progress because I was able to realistically measure my growth. My thoughts turned from “What am I doing here, I have to get out.” to “I have 45 more days and then I will be in Los Angeles”.

By July of this year I was back in my hometown packing up my things to drive to LA.  I knew it was time to make another small goal. “Have a job by the end of August.” Of course “a job” is a broad statement but the result of this goal was to have money to live off while I searched for the right job.

I arrived in LA on August 5th and had a job at a bar in my neighborhood by August 7th.  It wasn’t my dream job but it was going to keep me afloat while I looked for my dream job and it was another goal accomplished.  I was again able to measure my personal growth.

I wont deny that the job search process is daunting and exhausting.   But by sticking with the same thing that got me to LA in the first place, setting small goals, I knew that I could beat the exhaustion and find the right job.

I started applying to every job posting that fit into my criteria. One day I came across a posting and I immediately knew it was the perfect job. It was going to take some work to get in the door.  Was the process overwhelming? No, because I had already learned the lesson; set small goals instead of big ones.  Instead of “You must get this job or you will be so disappointed” it was ‘You need to find a way to get an interview” and then “You need to research the company so you are prepared for your interview” and then “You need to send a smart and impressive follow-up email” and so on. Each time I accomplished one of these small goals I felt better about my situation and was more confident to head into the second interview. Now approaching the second interview my goal became “You need to land this job”.

On October 29th I accepted and started that perfect job. Today as I walked over to the coffee shop in our building to get a morning fix I realized that I was actually standing in that same restaurant I ate lunch in two years ago.  Talk about full circle.

I wasn’t aware that I was setting a goal that November, I just assumed that they were the usual unrealistic thoughts that I constantly have running through my mind.  But as I stood there in the Tiato Market Garden Cafe this morning I realized that it had been a goal, and I that I had achieved it.

Don’t let the overwhelming process of life and your own self talk bring you down. Find a way to measure your personal growth so you can have the confidence and awareness that you need to succeed.  Start small and eventually you will achieve big.

What is your small goal, and how are you going to achieve it?

 

More on goal setting:

“The Best Advice I ever got: Philippe Bourguignon”

This Year’s Valentine’s Day Hit Brought to You By Nicholas Sparks: Trailer of the Day #SafeHaven

You want the truth? I usually watch a trailer like this and then keep it to myself that I might actually go see this movie and possibly enjoy it.  I was basically 18 when my love began for all things Nicholas Sparks and movies that cause me to cry in a public theater.  When Noah and Allie lay down in the middle of the road in The Notebook I sat love struck imagining myself and some handsome stranger doing the same thing someday.  You want me to be real here?  Miley Cyrus was starring in his next novel turned film, The Last Song I mocked the casting outwardly and pretended that it was really stupid but then I went and I saw it and I again….cried in a public theater (and later listened to When I look at You on repeat for three days)

Let’s just say that I am sometimes a 14 year old in an adult’s body and I am starting to come to terms with it.

That is why I bring you the trailer for Safe Haven.  It’s classic Nicholas Sparks and from the trailer you will see there is another dramatic rain scene with the two leads, god how we love these rain scenes, am I right?

A young woman with a mysterious past lands in Southport, North Carolina where her bond with a widower forces her to confront the dark secret that haunts her.

DIRECTOR: Lasse Hollstrom (Dear John, Chocolat)
WRITER: Nicholas Sparks (novel) Leslie Bohem & Dana Stevens (screenplay)
STARRING: Josh Duhamel, Julianne Hough, David Lyons, Cobie Smulders, Noah Lomax

I’ve loved Josh Duhamel since he ruled Vegas as Danny McCoy in the actual show Vegas.  Julianne Hough is familiar to me but I am not too sure I have seen any of her earlier work.

So it isn’t the movie of the year and if I were a 30-year-old male I might skip this one.  The truth is (again with the honesty..I might be sharing too much) sometimes I just need to go to a movie that enables my disillusionment that men like Noah from The Notebook and Alex from Safe Haven exist in the real world.

You say they don’t exist..Nicholas Sparks disagrees…I continue to believe.

Either way I am not afraid to proudly say that in February when this movie comes out I will go see it by myself.  YOU on the other hand should find a date to take you/go with you.

Guys…this is one of those times where you hold your tongue, take your girlfriend to the movie she wants to see and just enjoy Josh Duhamel for what he really is..the man you wish could be.

More here:

Safe Haven Facebook Page

Abraham Lincoln and #StevenSpielberg an Undeniable & Fascinating Collaboration: Trailer of the Day #Lincoln

There is something about the music in this trailer and the crisp elegant sound of Sally Field’s voice that brings tears to my eyes.

“No one has ever been loved so much by the people, don’t waste that power”

She kills me.

I remember sitting in the production offices of the show Boss during season one (yes this was spring 2011, that is how long it takes to get these things shot-edited-and released) talking to a PA about this project.  He was leaving the show a bit early to work on the film on the East Coast.  I was extremely jealous (of course) but also not sure how this project would pan out.  I didn’t know a lot about it and after being dragged to long drawn out historical films by my mother my whole life I had less enthusiasm toward the idea of a movie on Abraham Lincoln.  However…as USUAL I was wrong….

DIRECTOR: Steven Spielberg
WRITER: Screenplay by Tony Kushner (Best known for Angels in America), Book in Part by Doris Kearns Goodwin
STARRING: Daniel Day Lewis, Joseph Gordon Levitt, Sally Field, John Hawkes, Tommy Lee Jones, James Spader, Walter Goggins

It is clear that the score is by no other than John Williams–basically the composer for all of Spielberg’s films (hence the tears..you just don’t hear music like his every day).  Spielberg is the perfect artist to take on the story of Abraham Lincoln abolishing slavery.  A cast of talented actors most of them with a long history of roles with serious conviction.

In addition to the trailer is this remarkable interview from 60 Minutes Overtime : Daniel Day Lewis on Lincoln

This is the type of film you can make when you’ve been in the business of directing for 40 years.  Lincoln reminds us that there is still integrity in the Entertainment Industry.

More on Lincoln

Interview with Spielberg in The Hollywood Reporter

Lincoln at The New York Film Festival 

Lincoln Dubbed Steven Spielberg’s Best Film Since ‘War Horse’ in the LA Times

The Movie that Everyone is Talking About..And For Good Reason: Trailer of the Day #Argo

Ben Affleck turned 40 and apparently this is something we should all be celebrating.  He  has abandoned his perfectly manicured nails and store-bought tan and replaced them with a rugged beard and some fitted t-shirts..and well…we love it.  Thank God you’re back Ben, we’ve missed the real you we came to know during the days of Good Will Hunting.

(Check out more about Ben’s journey here: The Hollywood Reporter)

So what does Ben’s transformation from Hollywood robot back to real human being  mean for us?  Better movies.  That’s right.  It started with Gone Baby Gone, got even better for us in The Town and now he brings you what might be the story of the year in Argo.

As the Iranian revolution reaches a boiling point, a CIA ‘ex filtration’ specialist concocts a risky plan to free six Americans who have found shelter at the home of the Canadian ambassador.

DIRECTOR: Ben Affleck
WRITER: Chris Terrio
CAST: Alan Arkin, John Goodman, Ben Affleck,  Bryan Cranston, Kyle Chandler, Scoot McNairy, Taylor Schilling, Michael Parks, Clea Duvall, Richard Kind, Chris Messina, Kerry Bishe

It is a wonderful thing to shed light on such a significant part of our country’s  history (and a very serious time for Americans) while also entertaining us.  Ben and his collaborators have done what I think all serious filmmakers try to do…make a film about a subject they deeply care about..oh yeah…and it also happen to become an international success.

We will see what the box office numbers have to say ($19.5 Million opening weekend) but if I were you I wouldn’t be the the one who doesn’t see this movie.

Argo Official Website

Additional Reading:

Interview Magazine: Gus Van Sant interviews Ben Affleck

Time Magazine: Jimmy Carter: 444 Days of Agony